Posts
An annotated thermometer (degrees Fahrenheit)
+50
* New York tenants turn on the heat
* Minnesotans plant gardens
+40
* Californians shiver uncontrollably
* Minnesotans sunbathe
+35
* Italian cars don't start
+32
* Distilled water freezes
+30
* You can see your breath
* You plan a vacation in Florida
* Politicians begin to worry about the homeless
* Minnesotans eat ice cream
+25
* Boston water freezes
* Californians weep pitiably
* Cat insists on sleeping on your bed with you
+20
* Cleveland water freezes
* San Franciscans start thinking favorably of LA
* Green Bay Packers fans put on T-shirts----Hell YEAH!!!
+15
* You plan a vacation in CANCUN!!!!!
* Minnesotans go swimming
+10
* Politicians begin to talk about the homeless
* Too cold to snow
* You need jumper cables to get the car going
0
* New York landlords turn on the heat
-5
* You can hear your breath
* You plan a vacation in Hawaii
-10
* American cars don't start
* Too cold to skate
-15
* You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo
* Miamians cease to exist
* Minnesotans lick flagpoles
-20
* Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you
* Politicians actually do something about the homeless
* People in LaCrosse think about taking down screens
-25
* Too cold to kiss
* You need jumper cables to get the driver going
* Japanese cars don't start
* Minnesota Twins head for spring training
-30
* You plan a two-week hot bath
* Bock beer production begins
* Minnesotans shovel snow off roof
-38
* Mercury freezes
* Too cold to think
* Minnesotans button top button
-40
* Californians disappear
* Car insists on sleeping in your bed with you
* Minnesotans put on sweaters
-50
* Congressional hot air freezes
* Alaskans close the bathroom window
* Green Bay Packers practice indoors
-60
* Walruses abandon Aleutians
* Minnesotans put gloves away, take out mittens
* Boy Scouts in Eau Claire start Klondike Derby
-70
* Minneapolis residents replace diving boards with hockey nets
* Ridgeway snowmobilers organize trans-river race to Buffalo, WI
-80
* Polar bears abandon Baffin Island
* Girl Scouts in Eau Claire start Klondike Derby
-90
* Lawyers chase ambulances for no more than 10 miles
* Wisconsinites migrate to Minnesota thinking it MUST be warmer
-100
* Santa Claus abandons North Pole
* Minnesotans pull down earflaps
-173
* Ethyl alcohol freezes
* The University of Minnesota (Twin Cities Campus) closes
-445
* Superconductivity
-452
* Helium becomes a liquid
-454
* Hell freezes over
-456
* Illinois drivers drop below 85 MPH on I-90
-458
* Incumbent politician renounces a campaign contribution
-460 (Absolute Zero)
* All atomic motion ceases
* Minnesotans allow as to how it's getting a mite nippy
* The University of Minnesota-Duluth is closed
